Posts by Pete Zahut

22

I need some serious help

by bulldogg1877 in

jw
friends

i grew up a jw kid until the age of twelve.

since then i have lived a worldly life.

i have enjoyed alot of my life experiences, but i now feel like i am lost.

Pete Zahut

We often look at the past with rose colored glasses and forget the difficulties we had, only remembering the good things. I'm wondering if you are looking back on your JW life this way.

There is a saying "You can't go home again". I'm not saying you shouldn't revisit the JW religion if you think it may help but don't expect to be able to go back to the naive state you were once in and rebelled against once you grew out of it. People often need structure and any structure is better than no structure at all but remember, you can find real and practical guidance as well as the structure you crave via many avenues besides JW's or with religion itself.

Whatever you do in this regard, make sure it's done based on provable facts and tangible evidence in the here and now rather than based on fear or in sentimental hopes and dreams that can only be kept alive by ignoring reality.

37

WT Society Creates the Atmosphere which Spawns Child Abuse in Congregations

by flipper in

been thinking about this lately after almost 14 years out of the jw cult myself.

when you think of the language used within the jehovah's witness organization in such a closed society environment in how the wt society promotes almost absolute " trust " in the elders , the governing body, and trust even in the " friends " in the congregation themselves- is it any wonder that unscrupulous child molesters can enter any congregation pretending to be " spiritual " and take advantage of unsuspecting children or the parents ?

think about it : an individual is judged as a " spiritual " person within the jw organization based on what wt functions or duties they are good at performing.

Pete Zahut

Besides their tendency to judge a persons trustworthiness by their meeting comments and their dress and grooming (no beard, short hair= good) the other danger is the magical belief that Jehovah would never allow such a thing to happen in the Congregation.

Because of their tendency to be overly trusting with one another, JW's are also sitting ducks for any JW related business scam and for pick pockets at the assemblies where they leave their belongings lying around on seats.

I have a male relative who was hired by a "sister" to do chores when he was 14. When it was time to pay him, she told him to come into the bedroom where her purse was. She proceeded to teach him the facts of life and it sent him off the rails...changed his whole life in very bad way for a time. It sickened him that she could sit in the meetings with her husband and kids and answer and give talks while he felt so horrible about himself. He was too ashamed to tell anyone for fear of the shame it would bring his JW mother, after all JW boys are supposed to be like Joseph and run away when they are seduced. Instead, he ran away from home and lived on the streets and found odd jobs. He joined the army as soon as he was old enough and somehow managed to pull himself together. He never got to go to high school or college but he did get married and raise a nice family (non JW of corse) His wife despises JW's for what they did to her husband.

53

Best statement a householder made to get you to leave them alone.

by Esse quam videri in

knocked on a door on a saturday morning.

a window opened on the floor above me.

a grizzled old man stuck his head out and said, " we're all heathens here!

Pete Zahut

This post reminds me of the urban legend that was going around, about the JW hating woman who threw a bucket of water on a JW brother who called on her doorstep. The brother left and went on down the street and saw a little boy sitting on the curb crying. The little boy told the brother that his mother wouldn't give him any money to buy an ice cream from the ice cream man who was coming their way, so the brother gave the little boy some money.

It turns out the boy was the child of the woman who threw the bucket of water on the brother. The boy came home with an ice cream and told her about the nice, but very wet man who bought it for him. The mother was so ashamed she ran after the brother and of course "a bible study was started" and the bucket lady is faithfully serving Jehovah to this very day.

The End

65

My Introduction - An ex-elder's story of waking up later in life.

by doubtfull1799 in

background:.

my parents got the “truth” while i was in primary school.

i was baptised at 14. i loved school and was extremely studious.

Pete Zahut

Thanks for sharing your personal "JW story". I was particularly touched by the part where you said you cried for days after losing your hope of everlasting life. That's a tough one isn't it ? My wife and I faded in our early 50's after being raised in the religion. Like you, it was a perfect storm of events and doctrinal conflicts that made being a JW intolerable. We had to come to grips with our own mortality in a matter of days rather than over a lifetime as most people do. Sometimes the pain and emptiness was unbearable, but here we are, years down the road, making more than just a go of things. Coming to grips with ones own mortality is a very freeing thing once it happens. It's much easier to deal with than having to constantly convince yourself that you're going to live forever in a paradise when you know on some deep level that it can't possibly be real.

It's difficult at first but try not to spend too much time on "what might have been". When those thoughts come up, shoo them away just as you'd shoo away flies buzzing around at a picnic you were trying to enjoy. Why let those kinds of thoughts spoil your day? After all, what is wasted time really? Time passes and is gone, whether we do something productive with it or not. What if you'd have been allowed to attend University and you'd been hit by a bus a week after graduating? None of us knows if things would be any better if we'd have turned left instead of right at a fork in life's road.The main thing is that you're still here and will do better now that you know better.

I found that most if not all of the depression and anxiety I suffered over the years was due to suppressing my own common sense and from attending those bleak and mind numbing meetings. Once I was away from all of that and I had recovered from the rude awakening that I had been duped, things began to get better and better.

My hope is that this will be the case for you as well. It would be great if you could manage to continue on as you are without the JW's doing any more damage to your life than they already have. I hope that by formally disassociating, you won't be burning any bridges or making things more difficult.

You know what's best in your own circumstance but the main thing is you are moving forward and no longer spinning your wheels chasing after a fantasy.

58

Assembly Dramas:They were so bad.... but.... you waited for them to break away from the monotony!

by RULES & REGULATIONS in

.

you do remember the four day assemblies... sitting outdoors being fried in the sweltering heat,getting heat stroke in the middle of july in an outdoor baseball stadium.sitting outdoors from 9:45 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. was so much fun while you wore a suit,long sleeve shirt and a tie while your brain fried.

mom's who had children to take care of,lug strollers,feed all the kids,take them for bathroom breaks and try to not faint from the heat.. the sound and audio was always breaking and barely audible from the wind,airplanes flying over and (if you attended the cicero,illinois circuit )you would smell horse manure from the horse stables next door.. you know that you are a jehovah's witness.... when the only excitement waiting for the drama... where brothers and sisters dress up in ancient cloths,fake beards,fake rocks and fake soldier uniforms and wave their hands incessantly to pretend that they are acting out a drama.the excitement was unbearable!.

Pete Zahut

At one assembly I was at, there were tennis courts adjacent to the stadium the that you could see from your seats and still look as if you were looking at the stage and were paying attention. The players were only a speck in the distance but watching the matches broke up the monotony of being at the assembly. A couple of the players decided they'd create a little drama of their own by playing a set naked just to shake things up for the religious nuts at the stadium. It was hilarious to hear the murmuring of the crowd rise to a crescendo and to see all the righteous JW's with binoculars straining to get a better look.

19

JW.ORG Now requires personal address

by AverageJoe1 in

logging on to the user area access today, there appeared a message saying that they now require a postal and physical home address to attach to your profile, with a note saying that the branch may change the details as they see fit.

this raises several questions in my mind:.

why would they need to have your physical address on file?.

Pete Zahut

Perhaps there was a problem with people logging on and pretending to be interested in a free home bible study and JW's were being sent to a fake address ??

66

Was There ANYTHING Positive That You Experienced Because of Being a JW?

by minimus in

jw
friends

was there anything positive about your jehovah's witness experience?.

Pete Zahut

Children from abusive homes can often find something positive to look back upon but that doesn't negate the fact that although they had a roof over their heads, were fed and sent to school, they were still abused.

I attribute my good health and still youthful appearance to the clean lifestyle I lived and also due to the fact that I never got to do anything because I spent decades preparing for meetings assemblies and service, attending meetings, assemblies and service, coming home from meetings, assemblies and service and trying to recruit others to attend meetings, assembly and to eventually go in service.

Ships are safer when they're tied up in the harbor but that's not what ships were built for.

22

The Timing of Telling My Parents My College Plans.

by WeatherLover in

jw
friends

i know that at some point i have to tell my parents that i'm planning to go to college.

i basically have two options:.

1. tell them early.

Pete Zahut

It's a crazy thing that your going to college would be considered bad news.

Is the college you plan on attending nearby so you could live at home if your parents are favorable or would you have to move away anyway?

Are you certain you'd be kicked out if you went to college?

Why can't you attend college and not mention ending the JW thing just yet. Let them get used to the idea of college and then gradually fade away sometime in the future.

Perhaps you could sit them down and have the following conversation:

You: Dad...Mom, play along with me here but can you give me 3 examples of things that no parent ever wants to hear about their kid?

Your Parents: No parent wants to hear their child is sick, or they've been in an accident or they are in trouble with the law.

You: What about if they heard their child had been accepted into college?

Parents: Well...no, that wouldn't exactly be bad news....why are you asking us this?

You: Well it occurred to me that even though parents all over the world are overjoyed when their kids go on to higher education, it might come as bad news to you, if I were to tell you I got accepted into a college.

Then take the conversation from there, hopefully you'll have put things into perspective for them.

26

Hit by a car evacuating due to oroville dam. Ever been hit?

by Wasanelder Once in

went back to get info from driver who tapped our car in line of cars exiting the area.

after getting her info, she waited till i walked back to our car and punched the gas, hitting me.

then drove off.

Pete Zahut

Not that your injuries weren't bad but I'm glad it wasn't worse. If you didn't get the woman's license number or there were no witnesses, perhaps there was a nearby business that had a security cam going. It's a slim chance but I know someone who was able to provide evidence of a crash that way. My guess she didn't have insurance and was making a run for it.

Hope they're able to get you patched up good as new....until then we'll have to excuse any typos you make while posting here. LOL !

GET WELL SOON !!

31

I need some advice please

by JaMu in

i am a non-jw girl dating a jw man for almost 5 years now since end of high school.

most of the relationship has been long distance.

when we started dating, we wanted a serious long term relationship that would end in marriage one day.

Pete Zahut

Just a few random thoughts:

Whenever I had a girlfriend, I couldn't wait to see her... wanted to be with her at all times or at least as much as possible.
Can't imagine having serious feelings for a woman and not being "intimate" for 5 years.
Do you suspect you may be the "girl on the side" to him and that he has others as well?
Have you asked him what "unevenly yolked" means to a JW? If not, ask him to explain the term and where you fit into the picture and what this will mean for your relationship, long term.
How trustworthy is he if he can spend 5 years hiding the fact that he is breaking one of the major "JW tenants" (see above)
Not sure why you refer to yourself as a "Girl" and to him as a"Man" is the use of those phrases telling as to your age differences and or equality in this relationship? If so I see more red flags.

Anyway, there are lots of variables to this story that I don't know but it sounds like your instincts are on high alert over this and as far as I can tell, they should be. It seems like you deserve better treatment than what you've been getting. I'm glad you came here to ask your questions....you deserve to be someone's number one....rather than strung along in the shadows by a guy who's in the grips of a weird religion.